Out popped our little girl yesterday morning, just before 8am – after about 8 hours of labour. It’s been an incredible 24 hours. I should be sleeping now before heading back to the hospital early tomorrow morning but I’m compelled to note this down before it gets lost in a haze of ‘life’.

My wife’s water broke just past midnight on Tuesday morning. Very good timing considering that day was the beginning of her 37th week – seen by many as the beginning of full-term. This was an important milestone for us, and we just about passed it. Another reason it was good timing was we’d only finished buying all the baby stuff the week before and had only just put the crim and pram together. We’d only finished packing our hospital bag about 3 hours before her waters broke! And finally, my mother-in-law only just stepped off the plane from Hong Kong about half a day earlier. Timing, I guess, couldn’t have been much better.

So just after midnight, we sped down to Kings College Hospital (really glad I wasn’t at work when this happened as I still hadn’t worked out which taxi firms carried pregnant women). We were only barely in labour but as the water had broke, they needed us in labour sharpish. We were given about 4 hours to see how far we could get naturally. When the 4 hours were up, contractions were induced. Cue lots of pain on my wife’s behalf. For someone who just had a slipped disc (very painful) about a year ago, the agony she went through during labour and while contractions were getting stronger … well … it seemed to be another league. She was amazing. I would have passed out during one of the midwife’s internal examinations. Although we’d decided to not get an epidural beforehand, the pain levels meant we had to consider it. We decided to go for it and just as the epidural dude pushed his equipment in, the midwife told us we were almost there and that we should go without.

All the rest was an incredible process from when the baby’s head first appears, all the way through to the baby being pulled out and placed on mum’s tummy. So glad I didn’t pass out. So glad I didn’t make ridiculous breathing noises and get slapped round the head by my wife. I think the biggest contribution I made was to give my wife my right hand to grip as tightly as she could. That’s the least I could do.

Part-way through it did get a little concerning when my wife was in an incredible amount of pain but the midwives seemed more interested in personal conversations. But you realise that’s how they work. I’m guessing they just let nature run its course and only do as much as they need, without overly-stressing the labouring mother. I can’t fault the midwives as Kings College Hospital. They’re all very skilled and lovely people. They even let my wife rest for 6 hours in her labour room before moving us to a post-natal ward, and those 6 hours were greatly appreciated by us all.

If that was an energy-sapping first half of the day, the second half – a crash course in parenting – was a fitting end to the day. My first nappy change resulted in a FAIL. Everything went fine until I dropped my girl’s foot into her poo.

They say there’s no pain like childbirth. They’re right. And it’s weird in that it’s a type of pain half the world’s population will never, ever experience. I now understand why mothers compare all pains they experience to childbirth, in the way all acts on X Factor are compared to Leona Lewis. Nevertheless, my admiration for mothers reached a whole new level today. As to did my admiration of midwives, the medical profession and nature as a whole.

I’ve had a lovely week off between jobs. This week has mainly involved shopping for baby stuff, moving lots of things into a self storage unit, our second of three antenatal classes, hospital appointments, and a tour of the labour ward at Kings College Hospital in Dulwich.

Notes from the antenatal class

• Pain-relief in labour is really only needed before you start pushing. Pushing itself acts as a kind of pain-relief (apparently).
• Other 1st-stage pain-relief includes flanels soaked in (very) hot water on the back, the 3 massage techniques (ball of hand on base of spine, finger-nails making an ‘M’ shape on the back, and rotating thumbs all the way down either side of the spine).
• Ideal room temperature for babies is 18 degrees celcius.
• Remember to bring the baby’s ‘red book’ and ‘discharge papers’ (and car seat) to bring the baby home.
• For washable nappies, you will need 18 – 24 for each size. Exact quantity will depend on how often you wash them. Good brands include Tots Bots and Terry Nappy. You’ll need about 3 outer linings. Use microfibre.
• Use Bio-d detergent. No scented stuff. Try mother-ease.com.
• Nappies must be changed at least every 4 hours, regardless of whether it’s been used.
• Wool nappy covers with lanolin sanitises against bacteria!
• Newborns can use large folded muslin squares (80cm x 80cm) as nappies.
• Machine-wash nappies at 50 degrees with an extra rinse. Before putting the nappies in the wash, rinse them / soak them in a bucket of cold water – with a lid on. You can add some white vinegar / bi-carbonate soda. Don’t use nappy san.

Brain-dump over and out. Also, below is a lovely chart about room temperature and number of sheets / blankets to use for the baby.

Had our first antenatal class last Tuesday morning. Didn’t start too well. Sat in the lobby of Kings College Hospital 10 minutes early, it turned out we were at the wrong hospital. Apparently these classes would be based out of a nearby hospital. Thankfully we were only about 15 minutes late. Right. I’m going to ‘brain dump’ all I can remember here as I can already feel myself forgetting 95% of what was said. Point 1: childbirth is painful. Pain relief includes a choice of gas and air, electric current pads, jab in the back or something else. Darn. Can’t remember already. Call the midwife before coming in to check you’re actually ready to give birth. Signs include water breaking. Midwives suggest only taking action once contractions are 4 minutes apart, lasting one minute each. But in reality, you can call once they’re 10 minutes apart – lasting 1 minute. Mothers in labour should not use husbands as support props as they could kill them. Women in labour are apparently very powerful. Especially watch the fingers. Even when contractions start it can be a while before the baby is ready to come out. When water breaks, then start worrying (I think). People have been ‘in labour’ while shopping on the high street. Last point: there’ll be lots of blood. It won’t be tsunami-like but apparently it’ll look like mass-murder just happened.