It’s 8.12am on Friday, 16th October. Our little girl is just 3 days old and it now looks like she may be able to come off the ventilator. Very thankful all our prayers have been answered. Thanks to all who helped, thought about us, and prayed for us. Overnight, when I left her she was still on 35% oxygen and 4.0 NO2. The target was 21% oxygen and 0 NO2. Considering she started at 100% oxygen, being in the thirties was a great relief but she seemed to be at that level for an age. Thankfully she’s been fighting overnight. She’s a real fighter. We’re so proud of her. Waking past the neonatal ward reception the other day, I heard a doctor deliver some terrible news about someone’s child. It gave me shivers imagining being on the other end of that call. But some of the babies here are tiny. It’s a real miracle some of them survive. Miracles do exist. We just need to know how to spot them. I have lots of admiration for the medical staff at Kings, especially at the neonatal ward. Having watched them, incessantly, at close quarters over the last few days you can see not only how good they are but how lovingly they care for babies and mothers (and fathers) during what can be quite traumatic times. I can’t speak highly enough of them. If it is possible to recommend a hospital, I highly recommend this one! Right. Two hours until I can go back in to see our little girl. Incidentally, I’m writing this post on my mobile in the Costa Coffee – in the hospital lobby. Nice coffee. A real tonic for me. Best thing about this coffee shop is the girl behind the counter. She’s a really perfect example of good customer service. Not only does she recognise me in the short time I’ve been here (I thought Chinese people all looked alike to non-Chinese people!), she remembers my order and then gave me a loyalty card and retrospectively stamped all the coffees I had in the previous days. Plus she’s always cheery – even this early! I’m going to attempt to send feedback into Costa to compliment her specifically.

Day 2 of our little baby’s life has been trying. In the early hours of the morning, she went blue and the midwives took her straight up to the neonatal unit. She started off on an incubator but quickly switched to a ventilator. Seeing your baby breathing via a tube and with wires, cables and tubes on all parts of her body is really gut-wrenching.

Although the doctors and medical team are giving her great treatment, it is quite worrying when they say they’re not sure what’s wrong. I’ve never been a numbers person but I’ve never paid as much attention to numbers as I have done today, to the numbers of my girl’s monitor. Oxidation rate, heart rate, breaths per minute, blood pressure. I’ve learnt so much about oxygen, our anatomy, and how our bodies work but this isn’t how I would’ve liked to have learnt it.

The next 12 hours will be crucial. Her body’s really got to fight off this infection they think she has and really start running on its own. I pray it does, and I have faith our prayers will be answered. Doctors say she’s a real fighter, and now is the time to start fighting.

Out popped our little girl yesterday morning, just before 8am – after about 8 hours of labour. It’s been an incredible 24 hours. I should be sleeping now before heading back to the hospital early tomorrow morning but I’m compelled to note this down before it gets lost in a haze of ‘life’.

My wife’s water broke just past midnight on Tuesday morning. Very good timing considering that day was the beginning of her 37th week – seen by many as the beginning of full-term. This was an important milestone for us, and we just about passed it. Another reason it was good timing was we’d only finished buying all the baby stuff the week before and had only just put the crim and pram together. We’d only finished packing our hospital bag about 3 hours before her waters broke! And finally, my mother-in-law only just stepped off the plane from Hong Kong about half a day earlier. Timing, I guess, couldn’t have been much better.

So just after midnight, we sped down to Kings College Hospital (really glad I wasn’t at work when this happened as I still hadn’t worked out which taxi firms carried pregnant women). We were only barely in labour but as the water had broke, they needed us in labour sharpish. We were given about 4 hours to see how far we could get naturally. When the 4 hours were up, contractions were induced. Cue lots of pain on my wife’s behalf. For someone who just had a slipped disc (very painful) about a year ago, the agony she went through during labour and while contractions were getting stronger … well … it seemed to be another league. She was amazing. I would have passed out during one of the midwife’s internal examinations. Although we’d decided to not get an epidural beforehand, the pain levels meant we had to consider it. We decided to go for it and just as the epidural dude pushed his equipment in, the midwife told us we were almost there and that we should go without.

All the rest was an incredible process from when the baby’s head first appears, all the way through to the baby being pulled out and placed on mum’s tummy. So glad I didn’t pass out. So glad I didn’t make ridiculous breathing noises and get slapped round the head by my wife. I think the biggest contribution I made was to give my wife my right hand to grip as tightly as she could. That’s the least I could do.

Part-way through it did get a little concerning when my wife was in an incredible amount of pain but the midwives seemed more interested in personal conversations. But you realise that’s how they work. I’m guessing they just let nature run its course and only do as much as they need, without overly-stressing the labouring mother. I can’t fault the midwives as Kings College Hospital. They’re all very skilled and lovely people. They even let my wife rest for 6 hours in her labour room before moving us to a post-natal ward, and those 6 hours were greatly appreciated by us all.

If that was an energy-sapping first half of the day, the second half – a crash course in parenting – was a fitting end to the day. My first nappy change resulted in a FAIL. Everything went fine until I dropped my girl’s foot into her poo.

They say there’s no pain like childbirth. They’re right. And it’s weird in that it’s a type of pain half the world’s population will never, ever experience. I now understand why mothers compare all pains they experience to childbirth, in the way all acts on X Factor are compared to Leona Lewis. Nevertheless, my admiration for mothers reached a whole new level today. As to did my admiration of midwives, the medical profession and nature as a whole.

I’ve had a lovely week off between jobs. This week has mainly involved shopping for baby stuff, moving lots of things into a self storage unit, our second of three antenatal classes, hospital appointments, and a tour of the labour ward at Kings College Hospital in Dulwich.

Notes from the antenatal class

• Pain-relief in labour is really only needed before you start pushing. Pushing itself acts as a kind of pain-relief (apparently).
• Other 1st-stage pain-relief includes flanels soaked in (very) hot water on the back, the 3 massage techniques (ball of hand on base of spine, finger-nails making an ‘M’ shape on the back, and rotating thumbs all the way down either side of the spine).
• Ideal room temperature for babies is 18 degrees celcius.
• Remember to bring the baby’s ‘red book’ and ‘discharge papers’ (and car seat) to bring the baby home.
• For washable nappies, you will need 18 – 24 for each size. Exact quantity will depend on how often you wash them. Good brands include Tots Bots and Terry Nappy. You’ll need about 3 outer linings. Use microfibre.
• Use Bio-d detergent. No scented stuff. Try mother-ease.com.
• Nappies must be changed at least every 4 hours, regardless of whether it’s been used.
• Wool nappy covers with lanolin sanitises against bacteria!
• Newborns can use large folded muslin squares (80cm x 80cm) as nappies.
• Machine-wash nappies at 50 degrees with an extra rinse. Before putting the nappies in the wash, rinse them / soak them in a bucket of cold water – with a lid on. You can add some white vinegar / bi-carbonate soda. Don’t use nappy san.

Brain-dump over and out. Also, below is a lovely chart about room temperature and number of sheets / blankets to use for the baby.

Had our first antenatal class last Tuesday morning. Didn’t start too well. Sat in the lobby of Kings College Hospital 10 minutes early, it turned out we were at the wrong hospital. Apparently these classes would be based out of a nearby hospital. Thankfully we were only about 15 minutes late. Right. I’m going to ‘brain dump’ all I can remember here as I can already feel myself forgetting 95% of what was said. Point 1: childbirth is painful. Pain relief includes a choice of gas and air, electric current pads, jab in the back or something else. Darn. Can’t remember already. Call the midwife before coming in to check you’re actually ready to give birth. Signs include water breaking. Midwives suggest only taking action once contractions are 4 minutes apart, lasting one minute each. But in reality, you can call once they’re 10 minutes apart – lasting 1 minute. Mothers in labour should not use husbands as support props as they could kill them. Women in labour are apparently very powerful. Especially watch the fingers. Even when contractions start it can be a while before the baby is ready to come out. When water breaks, then start worrying (I think). People have been ‘in labour’ while shopping on the high street. Last point: there’ll be lots of blood. It won’t be tsunami-like but apparently it’ll look like mass-murder just happened.