Had our first antenatal class last Tuesday morning. Didn’t start too well. Sat in the lobby of Kings College Hospital 10 minutes early, it turned out we were at the wrong hospital. Apparently these classes would be based out of a nearby hospital. Thankfully we were only about 15 minutes late. Right. I’m going to ‘brain dump’ all I can remember here as I can already feel myself forgetting 95% of what was said. Point 1: childbirth is painful. Pain relief includes a choice of gas and air, electric current pads, jab in the back or something else. Darn. Can’t remember already. Call the midwife before coming in to check you’re actually ready to give birth. Signs include water breaking. Midwives suggest only taking action once contractions are 4 minutes apart, lasting one minute each. But in reality, you can call once they’re 10 minutes apart – lasting 1 minute. Mothers in labour should not use husbands as support props as they could kill them. Women in labour are apparently very powerful. Especially watch the fingers. Even when contractions start it can be a while before the baby is ready to come out. When water breaks, then start worrying (I think). People have been ‘in labour’ while shopping on the high street. Last point: there’ll be lots of blood. It won’t be tsunami-like but apparently it’ll look like mass-murder just happened.